My express goal in going to England was to meet John Finnemore and get him to like me. And I did meet him. And he and I and another girl, whom he seemed very interested in, went out to the country to meet his mother. And at some point his interest changed from her to me. She said something a bit morbid, and he said to me, "She's dark, isn't she?" And I said, "You don't know me very well. Maybe I'm like that, too." He smiled at me.

And he asked if there was any way I would stay in England. With him. He asked, if he asked me to, would I stay?

What do you do when you wake up from the dream of your dreams and everything is real and awful again